Strictly 2022: Week 2

Strictly Week 2 – we know what that means… It’s the chop for one of the celebs! Who will be first to waltz off into the sunset?

Tess swathed in a glitter-trimmed towel and Motsi in highlighter-pen green. All is well in the land of Strictly. So bring on the dancing!

Will and Nancy, who topped the board last week, opened the show with an oddly error-strewn Salsa to Luther Vandross’s Never Too Much. We’ve seen Will swivel his hips before – so what happened? A strange final chesticles-tease from Will ended the dance. “Me mind went blank” claimed Will, convincingly. 

All images © BBC / Guy Levy

James and Amy practicing their Tango in front of EastEnders royalty Letitia ‘Tish’ Dean gave us all the feels but was followed by a rather buttery Tango where Amy palpably led him around the floor rather too obviously. 

Ellie Simmonds and Nikita waltzing to Can’t Help Falling In Love somehow overcame the height difference between the pair and created something tender and pretty. “Emotion” intoned the TessBot, thereby flattening any such feeling that might be raising its head.

Helen and shirtless Gorka dancing..er..dancing to… sorry was there anything other than shirtless, nippletastic, buzzcut Gorks? A decent Cha Cha that varied from oomph to meh and back to oomph. Rain On Me was misconstrued by Craig as Rain On Their Parade.

Tony and Katya attempting Charleston to My Old Man’s A Dustman (or according to Katya it’s called My. Old Man. Is. A Dust. Man.) Katya, you are incredible. A smoke-and-mirrors effort to shame Barnum and Bailey. A bit too on-the-nose to write ‘get in the bin’. And yet…

Ellie Taylor and Johannes doing a Paso Doble in Week 2. Shouldn’t be allowed. Whatever happened to learning the basics.  Having Bizet’s ‘Les Toreadors’ is a gift. She gave intent and is happily dodging the comedy contestant vibe that Strictly often foists upon comedians. Did the judges’ gin drip get blocked as that seemed unnecessarily harsh?

Richie  and Giovanni, just about putting the not-getting-on rumours, aside with a bravura Quickstep that had pizzazz and was about the dance. Clever Giovanni with great choreography. Could Richie be a contender? Well deserved 8s.

Fleur and Vito (known in some quarters as Fleurito, which sounds to us like an STI) added a touch of contemporary and some timely-crying to their Viennese Waltz. “Is that a little tear?” said Tess2000, her emotion-scan chip activating. Strangely critical joodges’ feedback to a Week 2 contestant. A 6 from Shirley? Draw your own conclusions…

Loose Woman Kaye Adams and proto-Anton Kai Widdrington demonstrated some ability but it was so placed, it trimmed the fun from Charleston. Shirley gave entirely encouraging feedback – colour us puzzled…or not…

Male Rapunzel Hamza and Jowita did a random Jive – kicks and flicks okay, face and pace not so much. Was wondering if the screens had frozen at times when the Countryfile cameraman appeared to stop dancing entirely. 

Preceded by a fever dream of Claude marrying Strictly conductor Day Varch, Kym and Graziano span to a Viennese Waltz to The Corrs’ Runaway which handily had a prop Wishing Well to vom into should the spinning get too much.

Motsi got into a spaghetti-hoops muddle over her Italian dancers. We get in un pasticcio too!

Matt Goss from Bros “so much to take in” and Nadiya attempted a frankly bonkers Samba to Night Fever and had Shirl and Motsi greeting it as dance moment. Is it wrong that we don’t want to lose this madness so soon?

An actual still photograph and not a massive stop in their routine

Tyler ‘Step Large’ West and Dianne conjured a bank-robbing Jive which was sharp but didn’t steal our heart… 

Rumour has it that former Adele drag act Jayde and Karen tangoing to the Adele track had Jayde taking the traditional male role and Karen doing divine work. Not sure as yet how much the partnership works yet? Not sure they will be rolling in the deep just yet. Did you see what we did there?

Finishing the show are Molly “I had to walk down some steps last week” and Carlos’ Quickstep to Love On Top by Beyoncé which managed to be sharp, slick and technical. Perhaps needs more personality, beyond Havering charm, during the dance? 

And as the voting opens, you suddenly realise that this year’s choices are not as easy to select as perhaps as previous years.  Ignore some of the judges’ (yep, Shirley’s) comments and vote for who you want to see more of. 

Some great dances especially considering it is, shout it loud for those at the back, ONLY WEEK TWO! 

Looking forward to what Claude promised as “perfolalaformance” from Robbie Williams tomorrow night. Don’t forget to Keeeeep Dancing!