Strictly 2022: Week 8

The Strictly couples reach Week 8 and announce an unlikely lifelong ambition to go to Blackpool!

Blackpool or Bust – that’s the choice from the opening VT. We suspect we will be reminded of it at length throughout the show. But first our presenters: TessBot wearing a frock so unflattering we can only assume she had killed wardrobe’s dog this week. Claude faring slightly better despite having caught her shiny dress in a shredder. Motsi seems to have thought it was Come-As-Your-Favourite-Cocktail week.

“You all look gorgeous” declared the lovely Tess to the contestants. Would you trust the fashion compliment of a woman dressed as a pink Frube? A pink Frube with boots!!! What fresh hell is this? 

Ellie & Johannes
Charleston to Friendship – presumably not a tribute to Giovanni and Richie. Did we miss the Gurning trigger warning? Well that was a Charleston. A tad flat-footed Charleston regardless of the “Don’t Make Her Cry” memo the judges have clearly received…  The Charleton curse could well strike again. 

Tyler & Dianne
Paso Doble to Unstoppable. “Bananas have closed feet” snarked Dianne in the training VT, much to our approval. It might be global warming or Tyler in that Bolero top but it certainly heated up. An atmospheric smoke-and-mirrors job. Should we congratulate Shirl for remembering Dianne’s name this week rather than Diana as she curiously has done the last two weeks. 

All images by BBC/Guy Levy

Kym & Graziano
American Smooth to Chasing Cars. “A dance that has a very special meaning” – not sure how something so serious and so personal sits as such a quick, passing mention on a light entertainment show. Apart from the mistake, the dance was good. 

Helen & Gorka
Salsa to Despacito. Gorka, you corker! Those hips could power the national grid. Slightly disturbed at the gusset-flashing at the end! Love this partnership, though. Shirley’s hilarious demonstration of spotting only saddened us that she didn’t employ her box of tiny shoes from under the desk. 

Tony & Katya
Jive to Land of 1000 Dances. This song conjures up Kevin Clifton and Stacey Dooley’s hideous misfire show dance in 2018. I mean…Tony is really trying. But it’s the same way that all of us pissed up think we are Beyoncé doing Single Ladies. Has any professional dancer ever counted so much as Katya at this stage of Strictly?

Molly & Carlos
Rumba to All The Man That I Need by Whitney Houston. Slightly disturbed by Carlos describing walking like a cat as “sexy”. If you were wondering what the noise is, it’s Whitney spinning in her grave at that godawful performance by the Day Varch stinkers. There’s something absolutely ridiculous about the Rumba but at the same time perfectly mesmerising. Or “outside of the box” as Shirl announced. 

Fleur & Vito
Samba to Hot Hot Hot. Breaking news: COP27 has outlawed this samba. Sizzling!! The spirit of Carnival right there on the dancefloor. All the jiggling. A top dance that deserves those scores!!! Emotional as they are cracking dancers!

Will & Nancy
Waltz to Three Times A Lady. “A song that means a lot” – the stories may mean a lot to the celebs but they can easily come across as cynical vote begs. Motsi certainly felt it according to her word soup. Nancy dedicating the dance to people who have lost someone… not sure how much a waltz on a competitive reality show is that much of a tribute. 

Hamza & Jowita
Couple’s Choice to Jerusalema. A choice Couple’s Choice. No idea how to critique that – but those lifts! Not the usual telegraphing. Sublime and racing to the victory line. 

Bottom Two Predictions

We predict – feel free to ignore this as we are useless at this – that Ellie and Molly will be in the dance off. 

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